I hate when the landlord visits & my kid is suicidal.

Posted on November 6, 2018. Filed under: Uncategorized |

He hasn’t been here for 5 years and then suddenly it’s an inspection the next day and the following day a banker to take pictures so that he can get a 2nd mortgage.

Then my son became suicidal and I couldn’t get him from the school to Emergency Room because I’m agoraphobic, and it was like they gave me two choices; he goes in their car or my car, but he goes for an evaluation.  I pulled the car over so many times but I couldn’t get there.  I will watch him like a hawk for the next 18 hours until I can get him to the 11:10am appointment with his family doctor.

I’ve had panic attacks my whole life. Xanax is ineffective for my anxiety in the doses that are practical to prescribe.  I’m currently on 4mg of Xanax and I feel absolutely no effect from it.  If necessary, I could take up to 12mg of Xanax today as that is what is prescribed for me.  I never take that much because what’s the point.

Funny enough, though, as much as I want to stop taking it, in exactly 3 hours and 20 minutes it will noticeably stop working the small amount that it does, and I will need to take it again.

Rounding this off, my chest is on fire with muscle tension and acid reflux and I might be having a mild heart attack, and as bad as my heart phobia is (it is the MAIN PROBLEM area with my anxiety) I couldn’t possibly care any less.


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